Blah

Yesterday was such a blah day. I was in a bad mood all day and kept putting my foot in my mouth at any given opportunity. There is a lady at church who is known to be sensitive and so we are all just patient with her, but yesterday I told her to pull her head in, that I wasn't in the mood for her rubbish. I felt so ugly and mean. I did go and apologise to her but I felt like it revealed what is truly in my heart and that was scary. Then my kids were really mean to a boy who has only just come back to Sunday School. Admittedly the boy was being mean first but my kids had to finish it and it just made me so mad at them. That they could be so cruel. So I gave the kids a big lecture and when I finished Mooey said "Mum, can we play on the computer?" Arrrhhhhhhhhgggggggggg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I spent a good time reading the Bible last night and seeking God to restore the order and balance to my life and I feel a lot better but I am still carrying the sting of yesterdays nasty scenes.

Romans 7:19 (The Message)

17-20But I need something more! For if I know the law but still can't keep it, and if the power of sin within me keeps sabotaging my best intentions, I obviously need help! I realize that I don't have what it takes. I can will it, but I can't do it. I decide to do good, but I don't really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don't result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time.

Yes I think this sums me up pretty perfectly today.

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